The Final Sacrifice
Even though I love Canada and would love to live there one day, it’s impossible not to laugh at the mockery heaped upon our neighbors to the north in this film. In The Final Sacrifice, a teenager and a drifter unravel an evil plot to take over the world. The Final sacrifice contains my favorite MST3K song, Tom Servo’s over the top anti-Canadian medley.
There is still a lot of hilarity to be found even if you hate Canada mocking. Two running gags include Mike and the bots making constant straining sounds as the young and weak looking protagonist lifts objects and ridiculing the adult protagonists laughable and somewhat awesome name, Rowsdower. There are also appearances by masked and incompetent S&M lackeys and a one of the grizzliest old hermits ever.
Favorite quote: I have no sense of proportion! I’m a disgrace to my uniform!
If you've seen all these MST3K episodes and are craving newer Mike Nelson riffs, the best RiffTrax are of Twilight, Return of the King and Star Trek V: The Undiscovered Country
I’m a sucker for cheesy 80’s movies, which probably explains many of the choices here. Among the cheesiest and funniest of MST3K 80’s movies is Hobgoblins, a Gremlins knockoff with unlikable protagonists who make terrible and selfish decisions. The Hobgoblins themselves are terrible stuffed animals whose power is to grant people wishes that end up going horribly wrong in asinine ways.
Although Tom Servo’s rude and disturbing song about Canada is my favorite MST3K song, a close second favorite would have to be the brief “It’s the 80’s” song from Hobgoblins.
Favorite quote: It’s the 80’s, do a lot of coke and vote for Ronald Regan.
Time Chasers is one of those rare MST3K episodes that features a film made in the 90’s. In it a brilliant inventor discovers the secret to time travel, which is accessed via a Commodore 64. As with many low budget films, some of the filming locations are widely different from what they are supposed to be. Time Chasers features one of the funniest of these disparities; the president of a mega-corporation has his office in what appears to be a mall mezzanine:
Favorite quote: Lisa: What's the use of a time machine for Gencorp?
Nick: I'll give you an example...
Crow: you could send an egg into the future...
Nick: ...you could study the long term effects of we're having on our environment. We could...
Mike: Send Bob Saget to meet Charlemagne.
Space Mutiny is a campy hot mess of continuity errors and miscast characters. From what I can tell, the poorly explained plot concerns a mutiny on a generational ship. Security on the ship (who travel in slow moving floor polishing machines called enforcers) plan on selling the other ship dwellers into slavery (I think). The beefy male protagonist, aka Fridge Largemeat aka Blast Hardcheese aka Slab Bulkhead aka Thick McRunfast aka Crunch Buttsteak and his new girlfriend who looks like a grandmother attempt to save the ship.The aforementioned girlfriend goes from dramatically mourning the explosive death of her beau to falling in love with Splint Chesthair (who she initially blamed for her boyfriend's death) on the same day. Their romance initially buds in what may be the worst 80's dance club scene I've ever seen.
Favorite Quote: If I go any faster I’ll have to drop the waxing compound!
The MST3K episode where Joel returns to the Satellite of Love! Unfortunately he doesn’t join Mike and the bots in the theater to tear apart this cheesy film with a predictable plot. A reckless teen driver crashes and apparently kills himself and his passengers. Unbeknowst to the outside world, the teens are really suffering from disembodied soul syndrome, and are hunted down one by one by Charlie Sheen’s uncle Joe Estevez, a professional Soultaker.
Favorite quote: Man, where does that guy even keep his acorns?
If you've seen all these MST3K episodes and are craving newer Mike Nelson riffs, the best RiffTrax are of Twilight, Return of the King and Star Trek V: The Undiscovered Country
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